As a business leader, you always have to be aware of the personal dynamics impacting the individuals on your team. It’s true that life stops for no one, and more often than not, the people around you in a workplace setting are going through experiences in their personal lives that you know nothing about. Yet as a quality leader, part of your responsibility to those you serve is to support them professionally and personally.
Whether for necessity or not, entrepreneurs and professionals guiding others often mask the heavy things weighing on them at home. As a leader, you want to be strong; you want to set the tone for those who follow you — and perhaps you can’t afford to do anything but keep marching forward.
As an executive leader with countless responsibilities and a team of people depending on me, I underwent eight rounds of in vitro fertilization (IVF). The process was emotional, physically exhausting, and very isolating.
Fertility is often a difficult to talk about subject because it’s highly personal; yet it’s something that impacts more women (and men) than many realize. It was a topic I struggled to navigate when I was in the thick of IVF.
Now, I’m on an adoption journey, and I’m approaching the process differently. Here’s what I’ve learned about balancing my fertility journey with my life and professional obligations.
Lesson #1: People Want to Help You
One of the most refreshing experiences I’ve had is realizing that there are so many people out there who want to help you. When I began asking for it amongst those I trusted, beautiful things happened.
I’ve been connected to resources that have helped me tremendously with my adoption aspirations. I’ve gained support from people who may not totally understand what I’m going through but who show up for me anyway.
Someone once told me, “When you don’t allow people to help you, you rob them of the opportunity to love you.” By sharing my story, I’ve allowed people to step in who have been instrumental in helping me get to where I want to be.
Lesson #2: You Need to Put Yourself First
Whether you’re a solopreneur, the CEO of a large company, or somewhere in-between, when you’re going through something like a fertility or adoption journey, it’s crucial to find ways to take care of yourself.
IVF is an intense process with a lot of physical side effects. Adoption is extremely overwhelming. Both take a toll on your energy, mood, and mental health. You must find ways to balance that load, and that starts with being honest with yourself about what you need during this time.
From scaling back on social outings to seeing a therapist, delegating work priorities, or simply taking the time to enjoy a hobby, find what makes you feel like the best version of yourself and keep firm boundaries around that. Your people will understand.
Lesson #3: There is Life Within a Fertility Journey
When you’re deep in navigating your fertility — meeting with doctors, taking medications, focusing on your lifestyle — it’s very easy to be consumed by that. Announcements of pregnancies and baby showers on social media don’t help, either.
Fertility is one part of our lives. And when that part isn’t going as we intended it to, it can feel like everything else is falling apart, too. But the reality is that it’s not. You still have the people in your life who love you. Your business or your career are still there. The incredible things that make you, you, are the same.
Remember to focus on what is within your control. Focusing too heavily on those things you can’t control is a recipe for disaster (at which time I’d redirect you to lesson #2).
A fertility journey isn’t easy. It’s also not something that has to define you, either. From one woman with a complex fertility journey to another, I’m here to tell you that trusting in the people around you, focusing on the right priorities, and maintaining perspective will help carry you through.
Jennifer Guzman
As a key figure in Chicago’s business community, Jennifer is dedicated to mentoring small and middle-market businesses, with a focus on women and communities of color. With over two decades in HR and Client/Employee Experience, she has helped businesses from large corporations to family-owned firms. Her experience at EmPower HR, as Vice President of Client and Employee Experience, led her to establish Bestola Consulting. Her firm aids small businesses in aligning their purpose with their output, streamlining processes, and enhancing people experiences for better delivery and satisfaction.
Follow Me:
Thank you for sharing your journey. This is truly an inspiration to many women that are suffering in silence.