We set ourselves super motivated new goals at the beginning of the year, but we quickly forget most of them.
I coach women to meet their goals, so this doesn’t surprise me. Because even while many people make goals for themselves, few of them consider how they can reach those goals.
Part of the reason is that we set the “wrong goals” and then often don’t see any progress, which leads us to give up in frustration.
Many coaches encourage you to use techniques such as the SMART method. This involves setting a goal that is specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timed. These and other methods can be helpful in setting clear goals.
But in my experience, there are other aspects that are far more important on whether or not women achieve their professional and personal goals.
Secret 1: Set Only One Goal
Many coaches and motivational trainers tell you to set goals in all areas of your life. This is great because it gives you an overview of where you are and how satisfied you are in these areas. But it can also overwhelm you very quickly.
Your other ambitions are one of the largest obstacles to accomplishing your goal. Psychologists call this phenomenon goal competition. (1)
After all, you only have a limited amount of energy and time each day. The more goals you pursue at the same time, the less energy and time you have for each goal. And the less likely you are to achieve them.
Secret 2: Set a Clear Goal
Your goal should be stated in such a way that you can measure success. If there are no criteria to measure it, then your goal is more likely to be a wish or a good idea.
Many women don’t have clear goals:
- I wish I had more self-confidence.
- I want to feel more fulfilled at my job.
- I want to earn more money.
But these kinds of goals are a problem because they’re not tangible. After all, what does making more money actually mean? How much is more money?
How can you make your goal clearer? Think about how much you want to achieve by when (a specific date for your end goal).
Secret 3: Write Down Your Goal
Goal-writing by hand is referred to as psychoneuromotor activity. (2) Whenever you write down your goals, they dive deeper into your subconscious.
According to a study by Dr. Gail Matthews, 149 study participants from Australia, Belgium, England, India, Japan, and the United States were divided into different groups. Group 1 of 5 was told to think only about the goal. Group 2 was to write down their goal.
The result was a 43% success rate in Group 1 and an increase to 56% when participants wrote down their goals. (3)
Secret 4: It Must Be Your Goal
If you set a goal because you think you should, it’s hard to stay committed. Then you don’t stick with it. Unless you’re aware of how it can help you live the life you want.
Thus, ask yourself why you want to achieve the goal. The bigger the why, the more motivated you’ll be to keep going when things get tough.
Ask yourself: Are you setting this goal just for you? Does it motivate you? Does it make your heart beat faster? Is it 10 out of 10? Chances are, if your goal doesn’t trigger a clear YES in you, then you won’t follow through.
Secret 5: Your Goal is Part of a Bigger Vision
When your goals are connected to a bigger vision, you’re aware of why they’re important, and it helps to answer the question “What’s next?” once they’re achieved.
A so-called Everest goal, as an alternative goal concept from Positive Psychology, sees a goal as only an intermediate step toward completing your larger vision.
The path to the long-term goal can be seen like climbing the Mount Everest. No climber ascends the entire mountain at once. Instead, many small goals or milestones must be reached. Thus, in the longer term, you achieve more.
To find a goal that is embedded in your vision, you can ask yourself the following questions:
- What is really important to you? What would make you happy if you achieved it?
- Imagine that everything will be perfect in 10 years – what will you have achieved?
(1) Donald J. Campbell David M. Furrer (1995). Goal setting and competition as determinants of task performance. Journal of Organizational Behaviour
(2) Brian Tracy (2012). The Power of Self-Confidence. Become unstoppable, irresistible and unafraid in every area of your life.
(3) Jack Canfield (2005). The Success Principles. How to get from where you are to where you want to be, p. 67 f.
About the Author
Natja Böttcher is a life coach and writer from Germany. She helps women overcome their fears and blocks to pursue their dreams and achieve any big goals they set for themselves.
