In my new book in process, “GUTSY: How Women Leaders Make Change” I had to stop writing and take the temperature of my own “GUTSINESS”.
Here is the story: I have always been a rebel, rebel who wants to see positive change and is willing to stand and be counted. I have done this in many instances when the risk has been to my career, reputation, and even the financial bottom line.
Early in my first career as a family therapist I decided I would “rather eat beans from a can” than keep a client in the cue who was not willing to make progress. I must admit that being a therapist is a power position and when people are hurting they will often stay in therapy just to get some pats on the back. That can go on and on and week after week with conversations of limited value. That was not what I saw as effective and therapeutic.
Then there were some clients who went through a financial downturn. They were making progress yet their financial resources were limited. What do you do in this case? I kept seeing them and would either reduce their fee or see them gratis until they could get on their feet. I needed to be able to sleep at night and for me this was the right thing to do.
Now, my dilemma! I had to take Kate Gosselin of reality television to small claims court for ignoring an invoice for services rendered that she had verbally agreed to pay. I feel strongly that we are only as good as our word. And while I was told this could get gnarly because of the media I put my GUTSY self out there.
Okay, so where is the dilemma? I won the case. I was on the witness stand for over 45 minutes and the facts showed the truth. Now, this has been appealed and I had to re-think what it means to be GUTSY.
Lots of folks weighed in on this one. Mostly, “don’t let her get away with this. You have the facts. You will win in the appeal”. And I know I would.
HOWEVER:
What is the cost benefit ratio? The type of press that goes along with this level of “celebrity” gives me a nauseous feeling. The gawkers and photographers and reporters are there for what? What kind of story is this? Who cares?
I think my stand to not move forward, to let Kate keep my money is the GUTSY one. There are more important things about issues of truth and integrity here that would get lost in feeding the hungry media beast. Yes, I would like the $10,000 she owes me. Yet, I’d rather eat beans from a can that be party to the circus of what surrounds Kate Gosselin.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. And, anyone have some recipes on how to dress up those beans to be a gourmet meal?
Sylvia Lafair
Sylvia Lafair, PhD, is President of CEO – Creative Energy Options, Inc., a global consulting company focused on optimizing workplace relationships through her exclusive PatternAware™ Leadership Model. Dr. Lafair is the author of Don’t Bring It to Work: Breaking the Family Patterns That Limit Success published by Jossey-Bass. As an executive coach and leadership educator, she has more than 30 years of experience with all levels of management from leading corporate officers of global companies to executives of non-profits and owners of leading family-owned businesses. She is now offering GUTSY Women Weekends, giving women the opportunity to dialogue and clarify next steps.
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Sylvia,
I applaud your demonstration of “gutsiness”. And I feel your pain.
Just as recent as Monday, I was working as an advisor to two women business owners in a very similar situation. They were being wrongfully attacked by a former business associate just because they were extremely successful in their work and business. They also were underestimated by their former business associate. Frankly, I see this often working with women in business.
They could have chosen to fight to the bitter end and ultimately win. Instead they took the advice and were gutsy enough to say “okay, we know we are in the right here, however let’s move on.” They recognized they had better things to do with their time, energy and resources.
As I cheered them on, I encourage you as well to move on. My mom always reminded me in such situations that “the best revenge is to succeed.”
All the best,
Holly Magister, CPA, CFP
http://www.WomenEntrepreneurs-ExitPromise.com
A real true story… And good demonstration of the SOLID behavior in so much of pain which you felt… Hats off to you and your courage…
Nice Topic
Holly, Thanks for the comment. I have been getting so many emails that say they really wanted me to “take Kate Gosselin on”, that she “stiffs most people who have been in contact with her”. I really began to second guess myself. However, the wasted energy and media baloney at this level of reality “celebrity” was wasteful. And congrats to you and the to women you advise.