I haven’t read Kelly Cutrone’s new memoir yet, If You Have to Cry, Go Outside: And Other Things Your Mother Never Told You, but the title got me thinking. How many times have I seen women crying on the job? Why would anyone want to stay at a job that brings them to tears??
This got me thinking about a couple of jobs that I had in the past and the several women that I saw crying. This isn’t about women being emotional or not being tough enough to handle the work they were doing. Also, the field of communications and PR is definitely female dominated, so the chance of seeing more women in tears than man in these competitive environments is higher (just wanted to throw that out there to clarify for the feminist in me).
This was about unfair situations and horrible bosses that made these women cry. Now, it’s never professional to cry in the workplace, so I agree with Cutrone’s title – but shouldn’t crying be a sign of a much bigger problem at the workplace? And why isn’t anyone doing anything about it?
I worked in these same environments and experienced the same pressure, stress and injustice as these other women did, but it never brought me to tears – mind you, I didn’t stay at those jobs and I knew I deserved better. But does this point to a bigger problem? Are we ignoring signs that our workplaces are becoming too much to handle? Stress and unhappiness can lead to many health problems you know.
This leaves me wondering, should we leave the jobs that make us cry or is the problem that we just need to suck it up and get tougher?
Hi Jennie,
I understand where you’re coming from. I am in NO way trying to say women can’t hack it!
I even clarified that the feminist in me IS NOT saying that it’s because they’re women and can’t handle it.
I also said “but shouldn’t crying be a sign of a much bigger problem at the workplace? And why isn’t anyone doing anything about it?”
Please read the entry again. It is not meant to demean women – because that is NOT what I stand for.
Thanks,
Mahsa
While this may be true for some people — they may need to leave a bad environment – I have been in that situation and I DID leave. It is completely inappropriate to say this is a sign for all! I have cried at my place of business WAY more than once in my almost 9 years here. But it is because I CARE! I give a darn about my career and my company and how things are done and how I grow. Crying helps me think clearly. I cry — get it all out — and then get back at it. When others cry in front of me it shows me that THEY CARE. They want to do well. They want to see the company and themselves succeed. It doesn’t mean their weak and can’t hack it. You are perpetuating the female stereotypes when you make comments like you just did. I hope very few people read your post. Especially men!! That was not very helpful.
Jennie D, looks like you missed the mark. The author is asking readers to consider how crying about work may point to more serious issues like feeling under-appreciated or overwhelmed. I think it’s fair to say most people cry at work when they are upset rather than tears of joy.
And why is that? Because rarely do people want to show emotional vulnerability in a professional setting.
True, crying shows you care because if you didn’t care, you wouldn’t need that kind of release. However, if you are crying because it helps you “think clearly,” you might have another issue which is being over-emotional and THAT is perpetuating a female stereotype. Surely there are other ways to think, like getting a bit of fresh air or squeezing a stress ball!
I also think it’s very ironic that you hope “especially men” do not read this article, because you’re implying crying is for women only.
Next time you accuse somebody for voicing an opinion, you might want to look inwards at yourself and reflect about what your views/actions are saying about women in the workforce.