Halloween might be over, but energy vampires are out there all year round…
Your parents probably lectured you more than once about spending time with the right people. Good people. Motivated people. The ones who weren’t getting in trouble and who had aspirations, dreams … who worked hard and were loyal friends to you.
Those were the kinds of friends they wanted you to have, and the reasons went well beyond wanting to keep you out of trouble. They wanted good things for your future. They wanted the people in your social circles to be the kind you could look up to; the kind who made you want to be a better person.
And they knew exactly what they were talking about. Not only were they keeping you on the straight-and-narrow as a young person, they hoped you would grow to apply that wisdom to whatever path life had in store for you. And now that you’re the owner of a small business or startup, that advice has never been more relevant.
Check Your Circle for Vampires
Have you ever heard the saying, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with?” Well, it’s true in life and in business.
When the people around you are negative, or discouraging of your dreams, you start to believe everything they say. You start to question your own abilities and begin to feel more comfortable in the pits with them, down-and-out with nothing but misery in common.
Everything is energy. There’s positive energy, negative energy … and a whole spectrum in between. Positive energy emits from those people who consistently encourage you, compliment your efforts, push you to improve, and make you want to keep growing.
Negative energy creeps in like a beast in the night — gradually, without you suspecting a thing. You’ll be chugging along, getting things done, and before you know it, you’ll wonder why you’re further behind than you were last month. You’ll wonder where your drive went, why you no longer want to get out of bed. And that competitive edge? Just a distant memory.
If you’ve become accustomed to negative energy, it can be hard to recognize. It becomes so ingrained in your daily life that it can be hard to pinpoint where it started or where it’s coming from. You’ve got to identify it, though, so you can run far, far away from those vampires and get back to achieving.
Here are a few signs to look for in your friends and colleagues:
- Obsession with staying in their comfort zones
- Fear and avoidance of risk
- Lack of belief in their own abilities and the abilities of others
- Levelling, or the tendency to bring others down
- Doom-and-gloom worldview
- Chronic exhaustion (not related to an illness)
- Lack of ambition
- Habitual blaming
- Consistent use of the word can’t
- Unwillingness to be happy for you and your achievements
- Discouragement
And the dead ringer that you’ve been sucked in: You no longer want to share achievements and ideas with them, because you’re worried about making them feel bad about themselves (or they’ll do everything they can to convince you it’s not worth the excitement, or that you don’t deserve to be that happy).
Does this sound like anyone you’ve been sharing a workspace with? Does your business partner, affiliate, team member, partner, or friend make you feel drained and deflated?
It’s time to replace that negative energy with the kind that leads to business achievement.
Replace the Negative
If you’ve just realized that you’re surrounded by energy vampires and you’re starting to draw parallels between time with them and the steady decline in your motivation and business success, then it’s time to flip on the light.
It’s time to drive those vampires back into the dark, and away from the new, brighter energy circle you’re going to create for yourself.
I’m not going to lie — it can be difficult to break ties. But for your own good (and the good of your business), it’s got to be done.
But how can you find those with that new, positive energy? Here are a few suggestions:
- Make a list of all the things you aspire to be. Then make a list of people you know who have already accomplished those things. Connect with them today.
- Understand that your friends do affect your business. The energy that’s created in times of recreation translates to how you approach business ventures. So like Mom said, “Choose your friends wisely.”
- Cleanse your social media network. The people who always have something to gripe about? Unfollow them.
- Commit to more in-person networking. When you’re more aware and open to receiving energy from others, you’ll get instant readings about whether they’re an angel or a vampire.
- Interact and connect with people who make you feel good. This applies to business partnerships, customer acquisitions, hiring, professional circles, and more.
- Name your passion and look for others who are expressing that same passion. If you like dogs, knitting, movies, writing, sports …find a Meet Up and put yourself in situations where your passions can be expressed without limit.
- Consider taking on a business mentor whom you respect and who inspires you. Choose someone who has accomplished things you aspire to.
If you feel like your energy is bringing you down, limiting you, and making you feel unmotivated and uninspired, remember that you have power over this energy, which starts by replacing it. Put distance between you and the vampires, and then set out to find energy that makes you feel alive. Gravitate toward it. Feed off of it. And watch your business soar.
About the Author
Sara Lou-Ann Jones is the founder of Centre of Excellence, a global e-learning platform offering more than 1,200 courses to people in 160 different countries. All courses are created by leading certified, accredited, or recognized industry experts with years of experience in their subject fields, in association with the Institute of Leadership & Management (ILM), the Complimentary Medical Association (CMA) and the Continuing Professional Development Service (CPD).
