Traditionalist or rebel? Yes, you; and what about your primary relationship? How do you give him what will be remembered in the best gift ever department? How do you make today super special, an “ OMG Day?”
First, since my career is focused on leadership, let me put together two key concepts that are at the core of the Total Leadership Connections program.
- IT IS AN ILLUSION TO THINK WE CAN REALLY SEPARATE WHO WE ARE AT WORK FROM WHO WE ARE AT HOME
- WE ARE HARD WIRED IN THREE BASIC WAYS TO TAKE IN COMMUNICATION: THROUGH SIGHT, SOUND, OR TOUCH
Now, let’s get back to what has become a national obsession, what to give our love partners for the big heart connection day.
If you are with a visual processor, he wants something he can look at (okay I know the old jokes about wrapping yourself with a big red bow). Here, the deal; whatever you give he will love the outer packaging. New tie or belt, always a good choice for a traditionalist; make sure the paper and ribbon is bright and cheery. More of a rebel type, there’s always a race car contest somewhere in the area; just put the tickets in a plaid package that is manly, tied with a thick, bold ribbon.
If he is an auditory processor, go to a concert; classical, country, you know what he likes. Hey, even a place to race cars is good, he’ll love the sounds of the zoom, zoom, zoom. What is more important than the gift is to make sure you verbally tell him what he means to you. Use strong hearted words, big hearted words and let him know he matters. Talking to an auditory guy is like feeding him through his ears.
Now for the kinesthetic. These are the guys who love to be hugged, have their cheeks stroked, and need a strong pat on the back. This can be a win-win by surprising him with a couples massage. Or you can find a great place for dancing cheek to cheek. Just remember when you tell him how much he means to you make sure you put your hand on his arm while you talk, the words of love will register deeper.
Now, back to work for a moment. All leaders who can decipher how their direct reports respond can tailor their communications with visual words (I see what you are saying) auditory words (I really hear you) and kinesthetic words (My gut tells me you are on the right track).
So, have a brilliant multicolored Valentine’s Day with the sounds of joyful laughter filling the air as you and your loved one caress and kiss to celebrate what you mean to each other!!!
Sylvia Lafair
Sylvia Lafair, PhD, is President of CEO – Creative Energy Options, Inc., a global consulting company focused on optimizing workplace relationships through her exclusive PatternAware™ Leadership Model. Dr. Lafair is the author of Don’t Bring It to Work: Breaking the Family Patterns That Limit Success published by Jossey-Bass. As an executive coach and leadership educator, she has more than 30 years of experience with all levels of management from leading corporate officers of global companies to executives of non-profits and owners of leading family-owned businesses. She is now offering GUTSY Women Weekends, giving women the opportunity to dialogue and clarify next steps.
Follow Me:
